It's not only okay to be gay... It can be great to be gay!

No matter where on earth you live, no matter your race, your religion, your gender, your age, it is always okay to be gay. In fact it is much more than okay to be gay, it's often great to be gay.

This web site is my gift to everyone on the planet. It was created on the 10th anniversary of my own coming out, and at the dawn of this new Millennium.

My goal is to share with gay and straight people everywhere that it is always always, always okay to be gay. "The Truth About Gay People" is a book in progress. Every now and then I'll post another chapter. The goal is to help move the world from false and harmful beliefs to the liberating freedom of truth.

Here's the book's introduction - enjoy!

The day I heard one of the most powerful politicians in the country equate Gay and Lesbian Americans, to kleptomaniacs and alcoholics, I knew it was time for a book like this. I asked myself how someone who is well educated, aware of current events and who makes decisions that effects the lives of millions of people could be so ignorant about gay people. Then I realized that he was not alone. That there are thousands if not millions of people in this world who carry around a set of out dated ill formed beliefs and who if given the chance could come to see the truth.

There is a yearning for the truth. I have found my straight friends and coworkers fascinated and hanging on my every word when I dare to share my truth about being gay. They ask questions out of ignorance that to many a gay person seem silly. But they are the questions so many Americans are afraid to ask.

This book answers all the questions, the silly and the serious. If you are trying to understand someone who is gay this book will help. If you just want to know the truth about gay people here it is. If you fear you are gay, odds are you are gay and there's plenty in this book to help you come to terms with who you've always been. If your son or daughter told you they were gay then handed you this book, welcome to the club. Know that you are not alone. No one book can change the course of history or make the world a perfect place, but the truth is a powerful thing. When we start speaking the truth about gay people magical things can happen and the history of hate and shame can begin to change.

Before you read any further give yourself a pat on the back for having read this far and for being willing to hear the truth. Thank you for opening your mind as you open this book.

- Rick Reynolds, CCHT

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Gay Men Hate Women - Gay Women Hate Men

"Gay men hate women and those lesbians hate all men." Just as straight people are sometimes baffled by who gay people love, they sometimes have some odd views about who gay people hate, and why.

Not only do gay men not hate women. Many are very fond of women. Gay men and women often have wonderful friendships. Gay men and straight women have many things in common. They both share an attraction and love for men. They both share a frustration with a male dominated culture. They both share the joys and frustrations of trying to attract men.

Gay men are able to see women as whole beings. They are not blinded by sexual attraction the way their straight counterparts often are. A straight man may not be able to look past a woman's large breasts while a gay man may not even notice. Without sexual distraction gay men and women are able to share with ease an understanding of the opposite sex that their straight counterparts can spend a lifetime struggling to understand. Likewise, lesbians and straight men can be great friends. They too share much in common. They both love women, they both are free from the desire to please or cater to a man. Many gay women grew up surrounded with male friends and feeling like just one of the guys. They've had sibling like relationships with men free from sexual attraction and capable of a unique understanding of men.

If you choose to you can give up the notion that a lack of sexual attraction equals hate, and adopt this belief:

Just because you are not sexually attracted to someone does not mean you hate him or her.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is wrong to generalize, but it is equally inaccurate to state that there is not a problem with SOME gay men disliking women as friends. A sample of some posts from a gay website describing a "fag hag" that disliked her friend's BF:

Nine times out of 10, fag hag is just another term for a woman with poor boundaries and a borderline personality disorder who thinks she can change the sexual orientation of the guy she's currently stalking.

and:

To the OP:

Inscribe these wise words on the inside of your eyelids so that you read them every time you blink.


and:

Some women irrationally "lay claim" to their gay male friends, often as substitutes for boyfriends that they lack themselves, and it can be hugely co-dependent, desperate and pathetic. They don't give up without a fight.

and:

"Fag hag's" are tricky. They make sense in High School maybe, but people who have them in adult life often have them for the wrong reasons. The fag hag is often a girl who can't get attention from straight guys, and attaches herself to a gay guy to make up for it. Naturally, she will get extremely jealous when someone else (you) comes into the picture, and coupled with her own anger about her own loneliness, she will go at anything to end the relationship.

and:

Yes, it is incredibly important (and healthy) that you and your boyfriend have friendships outside of your relationship, but in my observation "fag hag" friendships can be such that there is no room for anyone else. Most of the ones I've seen have been dysfunctionally co-dependent, to the detriment of any relationship prospects for either the guy or his "hag".

and:

Simple...Do not date dudes that got fag hags. Gay dudes with a plethora of fag hags usually means something. :/

and:

Yea, no thank you to dating guys with fruit flies.


No one knows what the poster's relationship with this woman was like, but in terms of the responses, it was upsetting to read the generalizations offered by men who should know better than to be hateful and derogatory toward people. Just an observation.

Rick Reynolds, CCHT said...

I've been disheartened many a time in the gay and lesbian community to encounter hatred towards others. I've met to many gay racists and no doubt there are gay men who dislike or even hate women and lesbians who equally dislike or even hate gay men.

I have never fully understood how it is that a class of people who have faced such hatred and discrimination can turn around and inflict the same pain on others but it seems to be one of the ways human beings cope with oppression.

History is full of examples and it doesn't make it right and doesn't mean that we can not strive to evolve beyond this.

There are very conscious gay and lesbian people who in experiencing the hatred of others could and would never inflict it on another or one another.

Those are the people I attract into my life. I love the recent reality show "Women who like boys, who like boys". They did a wonderful job of showing some interesting and powerful friendships between gay men and straight women. Such relationships are not confined to this dynamic but do exist within it and it was wonderful to celebrate them with a show.

Anonymous said...

Friendships just happen, sexuality shouldn't be such an issue. I am a woman presently in a straight (mostly conservative) relationship and have many gay friends because most of the people I work with happen to be gay. I've also met gay people I didn't like. Friendship is about individuality and circumstance, just like most things in this world.

ANONYMOUS said...

I am very close to a gay man leading a double life. He has more than one "part-time" girlfriend- he has three. All the women are close to people he is close to and he has a few steady boyfriends and numerous casual liasions. He sees women in a very negative way, including the ones he is with. He refers to them as bitches. He thinks all women are jealous and "catty" yet he fools everyone and seems to dislike women. He introduced one of his long-time steady boyfriends to one of his best-friend's close female relative. His gay lover is married to this woman now. Can you share some insight on why a gay man would do this. There are tons of suspicions by many that he is gay. So he says that these women that he is fooling and using to hide who he is should know that he is gay.

Rick Reynolds, CCHT said...

There are as many different types of gay people as there are straight people. The behavior of your friend is likely not because he is or isn't gay. Not knowing him I can't begin to guess what is happening within him to be acting out in this way. I do wonder if society were more accepting of same se relationships if he would still behave in this way. I just know that the idea that all gay people hate the opposite gender is just not true and that some gay people buy into these stereotypes and if they themselves believe it then it becomes their truth but there's nothing about same sex attraction that cause anyone to dislike or hate anyone else. It's as silly as saying straight men hate men because they are not sexually attracted to them.