It's not only okay to be gay... It can be great to be gay!

No matter where on earth you live, no matter your race, your religion, your gender, your age, it is always okay to be gay. In fact it is much more than okay to be gay, it's often great to be gay.

This web site is my gift to everyone on the planet. It was created on the 10th anniversary of my own coming out, and at the dawn of this new Millennium.

My goal is to share with gay and straight people everywhere that it is always always, always okay to be gay. "The Truth About Gay People" is a book in progress. Every now and then I'll post another chapter. The goal is to help move the world from false and harmful beliefs to the liberating freedom of truth.


Here's the book's introduction - enjoy!


The day I heard one of the most powerful politicians in the country equate Gay and Lesbian Americans, to kleptomaniacs and alcoholics, I knew it was time for a book like this. I asked myself how someone who is well educated, aware of current events and who makes decisions that effects the lives of millions of people could be so ignorant about gay people. Then I realized that he was not alone. That there are thousands if not millions of people in this world who carry around a set of out dated ill formed beliefs and who if given the chance could come to see the truth.


There is a yearning for the truth. I have found my straight friends and coworkers fascinated and hanging on my every word when I dare to share my truth about being gay. They ask questions out of ignorance that to many a gay person seem silly. But they are the questions so many Americans are afraid to ask.


This book answers all the questions, the silly and the serious. If you are trying to understand someone who is gay this book will help. If you just want to know the truth about gay people here it is. If you fear you are gay, odds are you are gay and there's plenty in this book to help you come to terms with who you've always been. If your son or daughter told you they were gay then handed you this book, welcome to the club. Know that you are not alone. No one book can change the course of history or make the world a perfect place, but the truth is a powerful thing. When we start speaking the truth about gay people magical things can happen and the history of hate and shame can begin to change.


Before you read any further give yourself a pat on the back for having read this far and for being willing to hear the truth. Thank you for opening your mind as you open this book.

- Rick Reynolds, CCHT

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Gay People Live Lonely Pathetic Lives

"Those poor gay people, it must be so sad and so lonely to be gay." If all you know about gay people is what you've seen on television or in a movie or read in a book, you're right! Most gay characters in our traditional pop culture have lived lonely pathetic lives. With homophobia raging across our country gay people have plenty of excuses for being very depressed. Many have families who have disowned them, have lost friends, jobs, and a place to live after coming out or being outed. But the truth is many gay people rise above all of that and end up living happy fulfilling and meaningful lives.

To be gay in our society is to know what it feels like to be different, and to be rejected because of who you are. Many gay people who go through this trauma come out the other side very sensitive to others people pain and very willing to help out. In the gay community you will find amazing stories of compassion and caring. Stories about people who reach out to strangers and take them in, making them apart of their family. Friendships can be life long and provide more warmth and comfort than many families could ever hope to give.

Gay people are like holocaust survivors, they share a horror and a pain that can make them very close. When two gay strangers meet for the first time they can share their stories and develop an instant connection. Gay men and lesbians can sit down together and share common feeling about growing up gay and struggling to find their true selves.

Many gay and lesbian people are able to come out to their families, and build a wonderful relationship based on honesty and respect. They can develop closeness with their parents that many straight people never experience.

To come out as gay in America, is too instantly belong to a community of people who in theory will accept you for who you are and who may not judge you harshly for being gay. In a few major cities in this country there are small gay sanctuaries, where gay people are free to hold hands in the street, and live a portion of their lives free from harassment or discrimination.

Some gay people do live lonely and pathetic lives, and so do some straight people. There is nothing about being gay that automatically means a gay person must choose a sad existence. There are many examples of incredibly happy gay people out there… it's another of the reasons they call themselves gay.

The new belief should you choose to accept it is:

Gay and straight people are free to live happy fulfilling meaningful lives.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you this means alot I'm 14 years old and gay and I don't know what to do. Afraid if u tell someone I will loose all my friends and be hated on my last days of school and I'm very sensitive and I've heard about gays who come out and are teased for too long and eventually commit suicide

Rick Reynolds, CCHT said...

Anonymous -

Know that there's a world of people out there who will love and support you for being you. You may have friends that don't understand and you may also have friends who prove to be surprisingly supportive.

I didn't figure it all out until I was 27. I was teased at 14 and didn't even know for sure that I was gay for another 13 years.

I guess the point is some people will tease you no matter what. I found it made me even more sensitive to those who are different and face discrimination and ridicule.

Be proud of who you are. Know that there are people in this world who will not tease you and will actually celebrate who and what you are.

Tom said...

A large part of the gay (single) life is extremely shallow and based on looks and muscles. I know single life in general, even among straights, is looks related , too, but it is more intensified, I believe, in gay life. Gay relationships are difficult--there's always someone better looking waiting in the wings. Tons of men have open relationships because they are bored with their partners. They want their cake and eat it, too. Yes, there are some that work, but looking around, it is too few and far between. I am no kid, I am 48 year old gay man, and I've been in this realm since I was in college. Yes, a bit jaded and disgusted, I guess, but I am not apologizing. It is what it is.

Rick Reynolds, CCHT said...

I know there are extremely shallow gay people out there in this world but most of the gay people I know and have worked with in my practice have turned out to be very deep loving people. When I look around I see long lasting gay relationships everywhere I look. I've been in one since 1996. Maybe it is all where I'm looking or my view of the world. I have seen the life that you describe but it's not my life nor is it the life of my friends. There are many truths about gay and lesbian people and the differences in opinion often come from seeing the same situations from different perspectives. I invite you and others who are experiencing a reality you don't prefer to examine the notion that "It is what it is" and allow that it may be more than that. That for some people out there something very different is true. If you believe it, it becomes far more likely that you will start to see it. There are so many amazing deep loving caring gay people in this world. Friend me on facebook and I'll introduce you to some. :-)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it's cool to be optimistic and surround yourself with examples of what you want to identify with, but that doesn't turn the reality of that community on its head. It suffices to read literally any sexually explicit gay man's blogspot to facepalm at the destructive proclivities that MANY gay men consider their quotidian. It's not just "one" sleazy, nympho gay guy who wants to share it with everyone. It's everyone he's doing it with, and everyone those guys are doing it with. I'm talking entry after entry of hanging out in toilets, backrooms, glory holes, multiple men a day, etc. It's like 1979 all over again. And sadly this probably does account for 75% of men under 50 in the community, allowing that some are still closeted and others have tried and succeeded in monogamy. But they're by no means the majority, and shallowness & soulless debauchery remains the norm, in varying degrees, in the gay male experience. So, bravo for a gay blog that ISN'T oriented around it. High5.

Anonymous said...

Am a 34 year old gay man form India. I have to rely on gay dating sites to meet other gays. Am deprived of love and affection. My life is all about work and getting back to an empty home in the evening. It is very depressing and I cry many times because I just cant bear the silence. The situation is compounded further due to the fact that most gays here just want sex and not a relationship. All my friends are are straight, but consider being gay as being against nature, so I cant come out to them also. I don't have the guts to kill myself..I don't know what to do.

Rick Reynolds, CCHT said...

Dear Anonymous in India... your post breaks my heart. I hope you connect with healthy happy gay men out in the bigger world via the internet. We are everywhere. Feel free to friend me on Facebook. I'll include you in my high energy thoughts and prayers. - Rick

daniel said...

India, is really not much different from the US. There are islands of hope and deserts of dispare.

Johnny W. said...

It's very unfair for Anonymous (on Mar. 9, 2011) to state that "And sadly this probably does account for 75% of men under 50 in the community" because the entire gay community is not online writing blogs. Most of us are living our lives in a healthy, positive way and not hanging out in bars, bathhouses and back alleys. It's very easy to paint the gay community with a broad brush and say we're all coming from one mold, but the reality is that many of us come from a very diverse background, have different viewpoints and values and are not in the cliché gay society that one sees in the cities around the world. It's time for us to claim our normalcy back and stop beating ourselves up for being seen as part of a doomed whole and stop letting the worst common denominator of what the gay world offers become our fate or our model. There are lots of different types of gay men and if everyone gets out of the sex blogs, bars and the backrooms, they'll learn this fact. Many - if not most - of us are couples who lead very productive lives and have literally hundreds of great, uplifting connections, both straight and gay. It can be a different world, but only if we can be open enough to see it in a different light.

Anonymous said...

"When two gay strangers meet for the first time they can share their stories and develop an instant connection."
You're totally right!! I met this girl who was in 7th grade on a school trip to Washington DC when I was in 8th grade. We just happened to be seated next to each other Within 5 minutes of talking to her, something possessed me to ask her tentatively if she was bi; I just got that vibe from her. I have NO IDEA why I was so forward, but she ended up sputtering for a second before I cut in, telling her /I/ am gay, too. I had never really told anyone before, so that was really weird. We ended up bonding in a snap and are still very close friends to this day. Weird, huh?