It's not only okay to be gay... It can be great to be gay!

No matter where on earth you live, no matter your race, your religion, your gender, your age, it is always okay to be gay. In fact it is much more than okay to be gay, it's often great to be gay.

This web site is my gift to everyone on the planet. It was created on the 10th anniversary of my own coming out, and at the dawn of this new Millennium.

My goal is to share with gay and straight people everywhere that it is always always, always okay to be gay. "The Truth About Gay People" is a book in progress. Every now and then I'll post another chapter. The goal is to help move the world from false and harmful beliefs to the liberating freedom of truth.


Here's the book's introduction - enjoy!


The day I heard one of the most powerful politicians in the country equate Gay and Lesbian Americans, to kleptomaniacs and alcoholics, I knew it was time for a book like this. I asked myself how someone who is well educated, aware of current events and who makes decisions that effects the lives of millions of people could be so ignorant about gay people. Then I realized that he was not alone. That there are thousands if not millions of people in this world who carry around a set of out dated ill formed beliefs and who if given the chance could come to see the truth.


There is a yearning for the truth. I have found my straight friends and coworkers fascinated and hanging on my every word when I dare to share my truth about being gay. They ask questions out of ignorance that to many a gay person seem silly. But they are the questions so many Americans are afraid to ask.


This book answers all the questions, the silly and the serious. If you are trying to understand someone who is gay this book will help. If you just want to know the truth about gay people here it is. If you fear you are gay, odds are you are gay and there's plenty in this book to help you come to terms with who you've always been. If your son or daughter told you they were gay then handed you this book, welcome to the club. Know that you are not alone. No one book can change the course of history or make the world a perfect place, but the truth is a powerful thing. When we start speaking the truth about gay people magical things can happen and the history of hate and shame can begin to change.


Before you read any further give yourself a pat on the back for having read this far and for being willing to hear the truth. Thank you for opening your mind as you open this book.

- Rick Reynolds, CCHT

Thursday, January 11, 2007

In Gay Relationships One Person Plays the Man the Other Person Plays the Woman

"So, which one of you is the man?" Did she really just ask us this? If she didn't just ask she may well be thinking it and just too embarrassed to ask. Many straight people just assume that in any sexual relationship one person must play the female role, and the other the male role. The truth is this is their reality. In many straight relationships this is exactly what happens. One partner plays the man the other plays the woman and most of the time the role matches the their gender.

But many gay people have to resist bursting out in laughter when the question is asked. There may be some gay relationship somewhere where one partner plays the man and the other plays the woman, but in general most gay people just play themselves.

Gay people are sexually attracted to the same gender. Since we know this to be true, how can we believe that one partner would want the other partner to play the role of a gender that he or she is not attracted to? Gay men find men attractive. Why would they want their partner to be "the woman"? Lesbians are attracted to women. Why would they want their partner to be "the man"?

All human beings are a combination of male and female qualities. Our gender is one expression of those qualities. There are relationships in which one partner expresses more masculine qualities and the other more feminine qualities, but there are just as many where both partners have the same balance of qualities.

One of the joys of being in a gay relationship is the freedom from traditional gender roles. One partner can love to cook and the other partner can love to work on the car and both partners can still be "the woman" in the relationship. No set of behaviors are expected just because of your gender. In gay relationships no one makes assumptions of ones desires, likes, dislikes or abilities based just on gender.

Your new belief, should you choose to accept it is:

In a gay relationship both partners are free from traditional gender roles.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Okay here is my question. Now before judgement is passed on me, know that I have no preference over straight or gay relationships. As long as two people love each other that's all that matters! However, in my somewhat short life (25 years) I have experienced a LOT of gay people. My roommate is a lesbian. And in EVERY. SINGLE. EXPERIENCE. There is always a more feminine man or woman in a gay relationship. I have never ever ever ever!!! Met two manly men or two girls females. NEVER. This has always been a burning question for me. There absolutely is a more sensitive or more "burly" person in a gay relationship. My question has never been resolved because i have never seen anything else. I have always thought that if a person is gay that they would want another "man" or another "woman". However the "female" man in a gay relationship always is very vivacious, over the top with their mannerisms and dragging on the "s" in words. Now if you were truly gay, why would you be attracted to another man that acts just like a woman? And the same goes for lesbians in all my experiences. Even my roommate. She is very girly, dresses pink the whole bit. And her girlfriend is basically a man with a vagina. She tapes her breasts. Wears men's clothes. Has short spiky hair and talks very deep. This makes NO sense to me. Again. If she was truly lesbian as you've said above. She would wnt another female, not another man with a vagina. Can anyone explain this to me???

Ekojin said...

I can explain it. Basically as stated we all have elements of male and female qualities.

I for example am a very masculine male as is my partner of 3 years. He is also European so masculinity is much more flexible there than it is here and at times he can seems slightly effeminate but also so can I. It balances out. Then again, the idea of gender is a socially constructed thing. Society is telling you what a possible definition is but perhaps the LGBT community is able to be free of the chains a heteronormative culture can use to restrict minds. They are able to expand the boundaries of what it means to be a man and a woman. A man can be senstive and strong, caring and brave. So can a woman. These would be the new ideas of what it would mean to be a good man or woman. Your character. Something so powerful and so incredible that we may see the next stage of human evolution through this. Keep that in mind the next time you see a gay couple or a straight one for that matter that challenges those ridiculous norms about gender roles.