It's not only okay to be gay... It can be great to be gay!

No matter where on earth you live, no matter your race, your religion, your gender, your age, it is always okay to be gay. In fact it is much more than okay to be gay, it's often great to be gay.

This web site is my gift to everyone on the planet. It was created on the 10th anniversary of my own coming out, and at the dawn of this new Millennium.

My goal is to share with gay and straight people everywhere that it is always always, always okay to be gay. "The Truth About Gay People" is a book in progress. Every now and then I'll post another chapter. The goal is to help move the world from false and harmful beliefs to the liberating freedom of truth.


Here's the book's introduction - enjoy!


The day I heard one of the most powerful politicians in the country equate Gay and Lesbian Americans, to kleptomaniacs and alcoholics, I knew it was time for a book like this. I asked myself how someone who is well educated, aware of current events and who makes decisions that effects the lives of millions of people could be so ignorant about gay people. Then I realized that he was not alone. That there are thousands if not millions of people in this world who carry around a set of out dated ill formed beliefs and who if given the chance could come to see the truth.


There is a yearning for the truth. I have found my straight friends and coworkers fascinated and hanging on my every word when I dare to share my truth about being gay. They ask questions out of ignorance that to many a gay person seem silly. But they are the questions so many Americans are afraid to ask.


This book answers all the questions, the silly and the serious. If you are trying to understand someone who is gay this book will help. If you just want to know the truth about gay people here it is. If you fear you are gay, odds are you are gay and there's plenty in this book to help you come to terms with who you've always been. If your son or daughter told you they were gay then handed you this book, welcome to the club. Know that you are not alone. No one book can change the course of history or make the world a perfect place, but the truth is a powerful thing. When we start speaking the truth about gay people magical things can happen and the history of hate and shame can begin to change.


Before you read any further give yourself a pat on the back for having read this far and for being willing to hear the truth. Thank you for opening your mind as you open this book.

- Rick Reynolds, CCHT

Thursday, January 11, 2007

All Gay Men Are Feminine

"You can spot a gay man by the swish in his walk and the waving of his limp wrists." How many millions of people believe this to be true? The very same people who are certain of this belief would be shocked to find out that their son's very masculine little league coach is playing for the other team. These are the people who refused to believe that Rock Hudson could be gay until he died from Aids. Just like straight men there are some gay men who are very masculine and some that are very feminine. The combination of male and female expression in an individual is not an indicator of sexual orientation. The stereotypical gay man may be a flaming queen, but if all gay men were so overtly feminine none would ever be able to hide in the closet.
It is not just straight people who believe this myth about femininity and male homosexuality. Many gay men have bought into it too. They grow up thinking that if they can act more masculine, no one will ever suspect they are gay. For some men this may work, but it comes at a price.
If you believe that feminine qualities are bad you can easily start hating yourself. All people have male and female qualities and attempting to silence one over the other, creates a destructive pattern of self hatred. Many gay men can describe a painful process of altering their natural behaviors to appear more masculine. If asked some can share a history of being attacked for showing any feminine qualities. As kids we were picked on until we learned to hide any trace of femininity in our every movement. We sometimes hated our own voices and mannerisms, we changed the way we talked, the way we walked. We silenced our true natural selves. And sometimes we turned our own self-loathing outward on those who reflected back what we could not stand in ourselves. A gay man in the grips of his own fear over his femininity will cringe at the sight of a drag queen, avoid friendships with effeminate men, and may even attack an effeminate man to prove his own masculinity or better conceal his gay identity.
To be human is to be feminine and masculine. We all start life as female. We share our mother's bodies at our first stages of life. There is nothing wrong with being feminine.
Perhaps the only thing that stops both gay and straight men from exploring their own feminine nature is their fear of being presumed gay, and the faulty belief that it is not okay to be gay.
Rather than believing the stereotype about the effeminate gay man, you may find more comfort with your own masculine and feminine nature if you adopt this simple belief:

All people are masculine and feminine.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very good point about the gay/ straight sex thing. We are all male and feminine. So I guess its more about how feminine we men each want to be, as its now considered important for men to develop their feminine side. Of course, that doesnt mean gay or bi. To me tolerance is the important concept, we all have to learn to tolerate our differences and growth experiences. -pleadesman

MelissaTaylor said...

hey,
Just a simple question how are you soo sure its okay to be gay? i mean i am gay its just i was raaised mormon and idk how you seem so sure?

Rick Reynolds, CCHT said...

Melissa,

I'm more than certain it's one of those truths that rings through every fiber of my being. I know it to be so. The lie is that it's not okay. We only get into trouble when we believe the lies and act in ways that are not okay.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm okay and that my sexual orientation is my truth and what is normal for me.

I am a creation of God. God doesn't make mistakes. My sexual orientation is a creation of God. Look at the rest of the natural world. Animals do not choose their sexual orientation why do we think humans do?

Is it sinful that monkeys, dolphins and nearly every species on the planet have same gender animals that mate with each other?

The only thing that's not okay is this whole idea that there's something wrong with someone being attracted to the same gender.

The psychiatric world agrees. They came to their senses years ago and declassified same sex attraction as a mental defect or illness.

But most of all I just know in my heart that it is okay.. more than okay.

Anonymous said...

Simple.... It's natural. Nobody Chooses to like a certain sex. It just happens. Why would god make you gay just to send you straight to hell?